Blame it on SIDWhen my SID is high, TMJ and stess is raging the I tell my so called friends. I hope that like when they are sick or stressed that they will be good people.
SID means I am damaged. It means that I do not think like normal people do. I hunt for information and will play a game or read a book for hours. It means I might be too flirty with a married guy or any guy though I am not looking for real friends let alone a lover or date.
SID, ADD and other birth related quirks happen. It is an excuse for my behavior. I can try hard to fight these behaviors and quirks. It is not like I am waddling to the bathroom and just top to eat some almonds, drink some water or do something else. Normal people got to the bathroom on time. It is not just going to the bathroom and having to do something before leaving my office. I have to stop on the way to the kitchen and throw out some trash despite being late to make dinner. I am supposed to sleep but instead stayed up waiting for friends on MSN to show up and to play Mah Jong.
It requires early intervention which I never got. I have to KNOW there is a problem, what triggers the problem, and then find ways to stop the triggering of the problem and/or try to stop the problem from happening.
IT IS NOT THAT EASY. I do not always know what is WRONG, what the TRIGGERS are, and even how to stop or lessen the outcome.
That is where friends and angels watch over me and try to help me recognize when I am out of bounds. Seems lately few friends are around chat any more.
LadyGoddess and Ky are two dear friends from way back as well as some chat kids. Becca also. I know there are others but I am so crrying depressed from the fighting with the painters. If only we had sold and move to Florida or Georgia.
Hugs
Laurie
Defeated
Devious Comments
We miss you in chat.
LH
x
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You've been there so often for me, maybe it's time that I be there for you...
Is there anything I can possibly do? Besides understand what you're going through? I understand everything about triggers.. I have them to, although I'm not SID. They're for different reasons, ofcourse.. but I still know what it's like.
If you ever need to talk at all, Please message me. I just saw out of the blue, that there was a journal entry from you and I was like "What.. why is she on DA?" Are you not in chat anymore?
If I wasn't er.. grounded off the computer, I would have been here eons ago.
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There are no better artists, only those who are more experienced.
AS you see hun I am still banned despite a dear friend saying so and a mod thinking it was over.
I now must retrain somethings in life but without people to watch over me this will happen again.
A person with diabetes cannot feel a blister developing and so for me I cannot feel or sense trouble happening sometimes. That part of my brain will need training which I never got as a child. I have been concious that this trouble-button does not work for me. I do not set on the sofa and plan out evil plots of mass destruction. It could be worse i tell myself.
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Tell the blind man to stop walking into walls and I will be a perfect angel. I had to put this on the internet so that people would know that I have some broken things in my brain which I need to retrain.
I am right now working on the bathroom part of my life. I have to say to myself "it is bathroom time so stop what you are doing and go NOW" then "dont stop, keep going, dont drink the tea or eat the nuts". Can you imagine having to remind yourself to do things in the proper order? I am forgetting to close the door to my office when I return.
Normally a child would be trained, reminded and helped to get the routine right. I am so afraid to leave anything like chat rooms, parties, games, books, newspapers, food, drink, and the internet. My mom would put things away and maybe it is not SID but something makes me not want to leave. A fear so unrational and deep set since infancy. That is the reason I wait and wait to go to the bathroom as I for some reason am afraid that the thing I am working on will be gone. I think it is SID that was made worse by my mother.
Princess Lissie you go and make me proud of you. Get the A's and be what you can be. I think you would make a great photojounalist and artist. Listen to and obey mom as she is the boss until you are old enough to be a free bird but remember to be a free bird you must be able to fly high and fend for yourself in a wild world. I am so proud of you Lissie.
hugs
chocolates
Laurie
Try to motivate yourself to work on what you want to work on. Take it slow.
I'm here for you
Lots of Almonds and tea!
-Lissie
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There are no better artists, only those who are more experienced.
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